Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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