I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
