She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I cut my penus on the lid.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
