We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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