Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
