There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
