It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
