no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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