Buhtt sex?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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