Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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