Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
