So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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