'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
