Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
