and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
