You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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