i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
