I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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