he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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