you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
