Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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