im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
