I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
