whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
