i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
