You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
