I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
