I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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