just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
