What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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