He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
