glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
