I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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