DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
