Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
