look no pants
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
