He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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