Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize