I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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