she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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