i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
