if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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