maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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