you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
