my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
do herpes really smell.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
