First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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