I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
