we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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