Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
