Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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