I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
